Connections

Connections – power to the people

Do you ever watch the geese flying in a ‘V-shape’ and wonder why?  Those incredible birds know something we don’t about working together in community to create a larger potential than any of the individuals on their own.  They work together and rely on each other so they can all fly higher and longer.

I’ve been a loner much of my younger life.  I wasn’t sure I could trust others.  I believed if I needed or wanted something done – I could get it done better, quicker and with less stress by doing it myself.  And off I went into the world – with that belief and understanding.

This idea served me well in so many areas of my life.  I accomplished a lot and ‘nailed’ a lot of things down.  I got stuff done – checked things off my to do list and made my way in the world in the best way I possibly could as a stand alone entity.  Interesting, as I reflect back now, the idea that I was self-reliant, self-sufficient and needed no one was productive yet also exhausting and lonely at times.

I look back and wonder, what tainted my trust of others so young?  Why did I believe it was ‘me against the world’?  

Have you felt that way in any area of your life or do you feel that way now?

Looking back I can smile at the naiveté I drove forward with in my younger years.  I also honour my feelings and trust how I felt in those years.  I’ve spent many years delving into my inner knowing and beliefs.  I continue to unravel the long set patterns I developed to protect myself and my life.

A large piece of my healing path has been my introduction to yoga and a healthier awareness of my own being.   I have been drawn to know myself better while choosing to take full responsibility for my life (without blaming others).  This work is exhausting and exhilarating.   It is not a stand alone process!  I need my circle – my community – to check myself at times, to listen to my insights wholeheartedly, to cheer me on at times and to gently invite a broader perspective when I narrow.

My journey continues to teach me daily about vulnerability and trust.  Learning to open my heart again and again with discernment and healthy boundaries so I don’t miss out on opportunities to love and expand my life experiences.   Learning that in this amazing, beautiful life, I need others to lean on at times – to broaden my perspective and soften my resolve – to let go of control – to be patient and kind  – to gain greater empathy and awareness.  I continue to learn.

I believe:
we all want to connect
we want to know, love and accept ourselves so that we can love & accept others
we are here to ‘walk each other home to our hearts’ through living and interactions
we are meant to fall, get up, learn, heal and help others
we are here to learn about ourselves and life through our relationships
we are here to care but not carry others
we are here to both give and receive love (life & fully living requires both)
we cannot do it alone (not really).

Where in your life do you go it alone?  Where do you harden your resolve & lose flexibility & options?

Are you willing to try a different way?  Willing to open yourself to trust & be vulnerable?

Like the beautiful birds flying in a ‘V’ formation assisting the whole flock to fly higher and longer because each individual does their part and supports the bigger picture.  They rely on their connection.

Do your work.  Find your flock  and cozy up alongside them – they will lift you higher than you can possibly imagine on your own.  Strength in numbers.    It’s time to FLY.
Love & Light
Brenda

Fear

Fearless

You have nothing to fear except fear itself…

Very true words in my opinion but extremely challenging to put into practice in everyday life. Is the object of our fear truly what scares us or is it something deeper?

So often in my life, I’ve been afraid to do something, to say something, to just be myself in a situation. I’ve been afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid to rock the boat and upset someone and simply afraid of the unknown.

Fear is interesting. It can keep you safe or it can paralyze you in life. It can keep you humble or it can slowly kill that wild, wide-eyed curiosity and sense of adventure for all things new within you. Your relationship with this emotion will have a huge impact on your life and on the quality of your life.

This year my summer has had a lot of travel and I’m very grateful. Yet, I was surprised that the thought of traveling solo through the mountains of Alberta and BC really scared me – without a reason. Wow. I’ve always loved adventures and traveling but something was different this time and I didn’t know what.

As I faced each day, I decided to get really curious – wondering about how amazing and adventurous this day could be and what I could see, feel and learn. I breathed into the trepidation to see if it was my intuitive sense warning me or my mind trying to keep me and my life small. As time went on, I trusted myself more and realized it was imagined fear and scenarios that were never real (although they felt real in my body at the time until I sat with them and truly felt them). I came to realize that I was working with old patterns and thoughts that did not serve my life now.

It was a powerful experience to go through. I visited new places both within myself and within our beautiful country. It was amazing, thrilling and challenging all at the same time.

I’m not saying I don’t or won’t still get fearful about some things in life, but now I feel internally stronger to take a step despite being scared and trust myself to know. I also have an amazing community of family and friends that hold my hand as I run, walk, leap and stumble.

Here are some tactics I use to face my fears (real & imagined):
1. Acknowledge that I am scared (to myself & sometimes to others that I trust)
2. Breathe & Be Still
3. Feel the Fear in my body (Where is it? What sensations are present there?)
4. Ask from my Heart – Is this a real threat or am I imagining a scenario that might happen?
5. What is the next little step I can take right now to live as I choose and lessen my fears? Breathe and Believe.

What scares you in your life and is it time to sit with it and ask?

Love & Light,
Brenda

A Poem

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Here is a poem I have written and want to share.  I hope you enjoy.

Create a foundation & learn to ride waves
Clarity & compassion to see into the caves

Learning to surf and not just get by
Takes patience, perseverence & a willingess to try

Aligning your actions and words with your heart
Gives you strength and confidence for a fresh start

When you slip – & know that you will
Embrace the darkness and just be still

Open your Heart and Open your Mind
Be Curious, Discerning, Accepting and Kind

A light from within will begin to shine
Move into your heart and feel it –  align

The choices you have are truly vast
Embrace it all – the die is not cast

The challenges give you opportunity to grow
Sit with it all – & you will soon know

No matter what comes – any shape or size
Your inner strength & courage makes you more wise

Heal the past and let it go
Move into the Essence, the Divine Flow

Life is a journey and not something to get through
Live it full out, no regrets for you

Connect with others, Build a community to embrace
Take time alone – understand your base

Speak your Truth and Explore your Fears
Experience the Laughter, Joy and the Tears

Follow your Passion, Be True to Yourself
Who you become is your incredible Wealth

Love Brenda

 

 

 

Anxiety

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Anxious – no, not me – not at all!

I never considered myself an anxious person – I’d get butterflies & have nervous excitement, but if someone asked me if I was prone to anxiety – I’d say no, not at all.  Anxiety was something I noticed in others and felt compassion towards them for or I’d read about it in a book while doing some research for my courses.  It wasn’t me.

As I transverse this path of living more consciously, I’m learning more and more about myself and my patterns.  I’m learning that I would not label myself as anxious or any other emotion that would make me look vulnerable or weak.  I’d put on my mask and harden my exterior to move forward with confidence.

Do you think I’m weak because I have anxiety?

For me, the realization that I cannot get rid of it like an unwanted sweater is both a relief and source of anxiety.

My ‘go to’ behaviour when I’m anxious is control.  I try to micro-manage the little things or other people and situations when I’m anxious.  I try to control every detail of my life that I can to give myself some feeling of being in control. Lately, the knowing that I have absolutely no control in any way as my mom ages and gets confused or dizzy frightens & saddens me.  When I don’t want to face these emotions & suppress them, it creates anxiety and I move into ‘control’ mode to avoid the reality of what is in front of me.

Navigating this area of my life is definitely teaching me about being fully present and letting go of expectations while offering me opportunities to face my anger, sadness, upset and frustration instead of burying it and producing more anxiety.

When controlling behaviours arise & I recognize them, I have a chance to reflect upon why or what is making me anxious.  Once I grasp that the underlying emotion is anxiety, I can then ask for what I need to calm me or diffuse the grip that limits me.  What a joyful and challenging dance & I’m working to hold both without pushing away what I don’t want.

Do you have anxiety?  How do you deal with yours?  What’s your ‘go to’?

Opening up – being vulnerable – living more and more wholeheartedly requires a commitment to dive inside and excavate all the hidden ‘gems’.  As these jewels emerge – they hold the key to expansive, limitless living through the heart.  I’m IN – and yes, that stirs a bit of anxiety for me.