Fear

Fearless

You have nothing to fear except fear itself…

Very true words in my opinion but extremely challenging to put into practice in everyday life. Is the object of our fear truly what scares us or is it something deeper?

So often in my life, I’ve been afraid to do something, to say something, to just be myself in a situation. I’ve been afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid to rock the boat and upset someone and simply afraid of the unknown.

Fear is interesting. It can keep you safe or it can paralyze you in life. It can keep you humble or it can slowly kill that wild, wide-eyed curiosity and sense of adventure for all things new within you. Your relationship with this emotion will have a huge impact on your life and on the quality of your life.

This year my summer has had a lot of travel and I’m very grateful. Yet, I was surprised that the thought of traveling solo through the mountains of Alberta and BC really scared me – without a reason. Wow. I’ve always loved adventures and traveling but something was different this time and I didn’t know what.

As I faced each day, I decided to get really curious – wondering about how amazing and adventurous this day could be and what I could see, feel and learn. I breathed into the trepidation to see if it was my intuitive sense warning me or my mind trying to keep me and my life small. As time went on, I trusted myself more and realized it was imagined fear and scenarios that were never real (although they felt real in my body at the time until I sat with them and truly felt them). I came to realize that I was working with old patterns and thoughts that did not serve my life now.

It was a powerful experience to go through. I visited new places both within myself and within our beautiful country. It was amazing, thrilling and challenging all at the same time.

I’m not saying I don’t or won’t still get fearful about some things in life, but now I feel internally stronger to take a step despite being scared and trust myself to know. I also have an amazing community of family and friends that hold my hand as I run, walk, leap and stumble.

Here are some tactics I use to face my fears (real & imagined):
1. Acknowledge that I am scared (to myself & sometimes to others that I trust)
2. Breathe & Be Still
3. Feel the Fear in my body (Where is it? What sensations are present there?)
4. Ask from my Heart – Is this a real threat or am I imagining a scenario that might happen?
5. What is the next little step I can take right now to live as I choose and lessen my fears? Breathe and Believe.

What scares you in your life and is it time to sit with it and ask?

Love & Light,
Brenda

A Poem

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Here is a poem I have written and want to share.  I hope you enjoy.

Create a foundation & learn to ride waves
Clarity & compassion to see into the caves

Learning to surf and not just get by
Takes patience, perseverence & a willingess to try

Aligning your actions and words with your heart
Gives you strength and confidence for a fresh start

When you slip – & know that you will
Embrace the darkness and just be still

Open your Heart and Open your Mind
Be Curious, Discerning, Accepting and Kind

A light from within will begin to shine
Move into your heart and feel it –  align

The choices you have are truly vast
Embrace it all – the die is not cast

The challenges give you opportunity to grow
Sit with it all – & you will soon know

No matter what comes – any shape or size
Your inner strength & courage makes you more wise

Heal the past and let it go
Move into the Essence, the Divine Flow

Life is a journey and not something to get through
Live it full out, no regrets for you

Connect with others, Build a community to embrace
Take time alone – understand your base

Speak your Truth and Explore your Fears
Experience the Laughter, Joy and the Tears

Follow your Passion, Be True to Yourself
Who you become is your incredible Wealth

Love Brenda

 

 

 

Anxiety

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Anxious – no, not me – not at all!

I never considered myself an anxious person – I’d get butterflies & have nervous excitement, but if someone asked me if I was prone to anxiety – I’d say no, not at all.  Anxiety was something I noticed in others and felt compassion towards them for or I’d read about it in a book while doing some research for my courses.  It wasn’t me.

As I transverse this path of living more consciously, I’m learning more and more about myself and my patterns.  I’m learning that I would not label myself as anxious or any other emotion that would make me look vulnerable or weak.  I’d put on my mask and harden my exterior to move forward with confidence.

Do you think I’m weak because I have anxiety?

For me, the realization that I cannot get rid of it like an unwanted sweater is both a relief and source of anxiety.

My ‘go to’ behaviour when I’m anxious is control.  I try to micro-manage the little things or other people and situations when I’m anxious.  I try to control every detail of my life that I can to give myself some feeling of being in control. Lately, the knowing that I have absolutely no control in any way as my mom ages and gets confused or dizzy frightens & saddens me.  When I don’t want to face these emotions & suppress them, it creates anxiety and I move into ‘control’ mode to avoid the reality of what is in front of me.

Navigating this area of my life is definitely teaching me about being fully present and letting go of expectations while offering me opportunities to face my anger, sadness, upset and frustration instead of burying it and producing more anxiety.

When controlling behaviours arise & I recognize them, I have a chance to reflect upon why or what is making me anxious.  Once I grasp that the underlying emotion is anxiety, I can then ask for what I need to calm me or diffuse the grip that limits me.  What a joyful and challenging dance & I’m working to hold both without pushing away what I don’t want.

Do you have anxiety?  How do you deal with yours?  What’s your ‘go to’?

Opening up – being vulnerable – living more and more wholeheartedly requires a commitment to dive inside and excavate all the hidden ‘gems’.  As these jewels emerge – they hold the key to expansive, limitless living through the heart.  I’m IN – and yes, that stirs a bit of anxiety for me.

 

Triggers

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Triggers

What triggers you?  What can take you from zero to 100 in a split second?

I’m fascinated at times by how quickly I can be propelled from a relatively calm state into a firey rage at seemingly nothing at all.

I have been driving along minding my own business playing tunes on the radio and someone can cut me off or slow me down and all of a sudden I’m yelling at them from my car in a heated anger that is totally out of proportion with the action.  I have been walking down a beach and been filled with fear and defensiveness seeing someone coming toward me that I’ve never met before.  In the middle of a conversation with someone about life and things, I can find myself grasping for calm and reasoning at something they’ve said that has set me afire.

What is it that triggers me?  For most of my younger life I assumed that my behaviour was totally justified by the actions of someone else being wrong.  Interesting to look a bit deeper and see what actually is at the root of this wild ride in emotions.

We all have patterns and beliefs that we gain as we live and grow in life.  Some of these we have picked up from our parents and families, while others from friends, school or society at large.  These conditioning patterns and beliefs have served our lives in some way to help us fit in, learn, grow and belong to something bigger.

If these beliefs and patterns don’t shift and change as we evolve, then there becomes a disonance within us between what we are carrying and what is true for us in the moment.  It is NOW that our deeper work begins in a challenging and rewarding way.

As our behaviour and relationships change, we will be triggered by people and things that don’t align with the old ways of being.  We are being awakened to review our past beliefs to see if they are resonate and true for us in the moment.  It can feel like we are walking in a land mine theme park of emotions.

If we can be aware and compassionate to ourselves and others, we can begin to peel back the layers.  These layers of protection, playing small, obligations and holding ourselves back  have all served us in a way but no longer feed our heart and soul.  We will recognize these by how they make us feel.

I find as I grow and learn more about myself and what I’m prepared to face, that I recognize things and behaviours that trigger me.  I now take these signs as a guide post to deeper personal work that is awaiting my attention.  I realize that when I am triggered, it has nothing to do with the other person or situation (other then they have been a messenger).   It is now my responsibility to dive in deeper and excavate those old patterns so I can feel it and heal it.  These opportunities are my life’s work to develop into the fullest expression of love, healthy boundaries and compassion that I can be.

What is triggering you?  Can you love yourself through the exploration to find yourself?

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